By Stuart McLean

An irreverent romp via Scottish proverbs - with chapters starting from outdated Scottish Proverbs made over and sleek Scottish Proverbs in the course of the Midge, Scottish Chat-Up strains, and Scottish Insults to Glaswegian Proverbs. to not be taken heavily whatsoever!

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Extra info for A Midge in Your Hand Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt: Modern Scottish Proverbs

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Talk is cheap – except with Vodafone. You cannae shove yer grannie off Ben Nevis without her gathering moss. indd 58 21/06/2007 09:25:14 ... Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt Refrain from calculating the sum of your free-range, organic poultry prior to their incubation and emergence from their embryonic habitat. Scottish Education is the best in the world – in fact 78% of those on the dole have got a first-class honours degree. indd 59 21/06/2007 09:25:14 A Midge in Your Hand... Honesty is the best policy – but only as a last resort.

Wise men think what their wives tell them to think. A red sky at night is a shepherd’s delight. A red sky in the morning means you’ve had far too much Tequila Sunset. God help the rich; the poor have the Department of Social Security. indd 46 21/06/2007 09:25:13 ... Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you get thumped for being a wimp. A dog is for life not just one sordid night of glorious sex. If at first you don’t succeed try, try and try to get someone else to do it.

You cannot make a silk sporran out of a sow’s testicles. indd 56 21/06/2007 09:25:14 ... Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt Man does not live by beer alone – but it will get you through two weeks on the Costa Brava. A woman’s wark will ne’er be dune… for they tarry tae lang at the boozers. Marijuana makes the world go round… and round… and round… People who live in glass houses shouldn’t use the lavie. indd 57 21/06/2007 09:25:14 A Midge in Your Hand... We’ll never know the worth of water till the Irn Bru all runs dry.

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